In The Noise - Wednesday, February 24, 2010

High Times and Hot Dogs Can Choke You Up

"Marijuana use by seniors goes up as boomers age", says the Associated Press headline....

What a great story!

"In her 88 years, Florence Siegel has learned how to relax: A glass of red wine. A crisp copy of The New York Times, if she can wrest it from her husband. Some classical music, preferably Bach. And every night like clockwork, she lifts a pipe to her lips and smokes marijuana."

It turns out (not surprisingly!) that pot-smoking is increasing among the AARP age group, stoked by (as it were) baby boomers growing older. This is according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

And seniors are using Mary Jane for both recreation as well as "healing" - a way to cope with the aches and pains of aging.

One senior is quoted as saying, "Food tastes better, music sounds better, sex is more enjoyable."

The grass is always greener on the other side of 50.

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The Academy of Pediatrics wants you to know that you probably don’t worry enough about the risk that your children may choke to death on a hot dog.

It may sound weird, but choking is one of the leading causes of injury and death in children, especially those under age three who have yet to develop mature airways and are still mastering the crucial life skills of chewing and swallowing.

An analysis by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that in 2001, nearly 18,000 kids were brought to hospital emergency rooms after choking. Almost 60% of those kids choked on food, and about 30% choked on coins or other foreign objects.

But frankfurters are really in the, um, dog house, because - according to the journal Pediatrics - a hot dog “is cylindrical, airway sized, and compressible, which allows it to wedge tightly into a child’s hypopharynx and completely occlude the airway.”

Yuck!

Someone clearly has to redesign the hot dog.

Maybe as a breakfast cereal - sugar frosted dog flakes!

Or...make little teeny hot dogs and serve them like legumes. You know, "beaner weiners"!

Or...grab a food processor, toss in a hot dog, coffee, milk, ice and - voila - a "frankuccino".

Now that's easy to swallow, right?