In The Noise - January 25, 2010

Watch out "Avatar" and "Titanic", your Boffo Boxoffice may soon be Bonzo'd!

The world's first film shot entirely by chimpanzees is about to be released.

The apes created the movie using a specially designed chimp-proof camera given to them by primatologists as part of a scientific study into how chimpanzees perceive the world and each other.

The plot reportedly involves a far-off world full of blue-bottom orangutans. An army of mercenary chimps arrives from space with plans to steal the world's sacred "Rosanne" banana manna crop. The peace-loving blue-bottoms, defenseless and dumbfounded, can do nothing but stare at the invaders in total disbelief.

Coming soon to a theatre near you...

...The Planet of The Gapes.

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FOX is sending out the hounds for Conan O'Brien.

Come September 1st, when Conan can - by contract - reappear on the airwaves, be ready for a knock-down-drag-out three-way late-night show superbattle.

Word is that FOX wants to cut a deal with Conan ASAP.

Hopefully, they have finally figured out how to correctly do a late-night talk-show. I mean, we are talking about the network that brought us "The Chevy Chase Show" and The Joan Rivers Show"....

Here's a thought. Maybe Conan can convince FOX to sign a new sidekick for his show. One with a long-established reputation for "funny". One that Conan worked-with early in his career.

Homer Simpson.

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Meanwhile, in the other corners of the late-night ring...

...a booking war is heating up between Letterman and Leno!

Word is that Dave won't play ball with anyone who goes on Leno's 'Tonight Show' first, which means the celebrity-guest tug-of-war is soon to be underway.

What's going to happen when Conan joins the ménage à trois?

"Couch hopping" will take on a whole new meaning!

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A physics professor at Arizona University will tell a meeting at the Royal Society of London that the best way of proving that extra-terrestrial life exists elsewhere in the universe is to use evidence from earth.

The meeting, which will include representatives from NASA, the European Space Agency and the UN Office for Outer Space Affairs marks the 5th anniversary of the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence program.

There's a good use for our tax dollars.

(Of course, we haven't found intelligent life on Earth, yet, but that's beside the point.)

Anyway, this professor says we should focus on deserts, volcanic vents, salt-saturated lakes and the dry valleys of Antarctica - places where ordinary life struggles to survive.

Or maybe even more inhospitable locations, like Detroit.